The Importance of “Real” Sistah-Hood (The Sistah Circle)

Growing up I have learned what it is like to be surrounded by Sisters who love you. I mean, I did grow up with four (4) sisters. But outside of my immediate family, I have experienced short term and long term relations with those I have or had considered my Sistahs.

What is Sister-Hood “Sistah-Hood”? No not talking about “Sistah-Hood” in a Sorority because not everyone in your Sorority will accept or like you for who you are. If we look at “Sistah-Hood” by definition, a “Sistah-Hood” is an array of feelings, emotions and connections. It can be described in one certain way or by one word. In our society, some believe that “Sistah-Hood” is about girls who are friends and how they truly hate or envy each other. Girls who do girls night out, gossip about others, talk about each other behind their back, binge drink together, use each other, or smile to each other’s faces then stab each other in the back. This is what society thinks and which has led me to believe that the meaning of the word “Sistah-Hood” has been lost.

When we think of “Sistah-Hood” or when we call someone our Sistah or Sis, what is the true meaning of those words? What comes to mind when you hear the word “Sistah-Hood”? To me, “Sistah-Hood” means loving and accepting someone for who and where they are, but consistently. Inspiring them to their highest potential and God’s will for their life. The ones who are really your Sistahs are the people who have been through something with you. To be united and having a diverse group of women. It does not matter their culture, religion, class, race, ethnicity, and beliefs. It is a community of women who come together, communicate, and are able to understand each other’s differences without trying to tear each other apart.

But how is it possible to be connected to someone who is not your biological relation, yet who knows you better than you know yourself? These women we embrace as Sistahs are closer than our own family members at times. They defend us, wipe away our tears, check on us when we are ill, encourage us in the bad times, lend us their hand if needed, and support our dreams. At the same time, these same women will not hesitate to scold us, push us, even anger us in order to protect us.

At a younger age, I didn’t have a lot of female friends. I felt I couldn’t relate, I was very quiet and stand offish. Most of my friends growing up were guys. As I got older I began to realize that there were some things I was going through as a female that my guy friends would not be able to understand or relate to. I started to hang out with females more. But something deep inside kept me from allowing myself to get too close to other females. Witnessing the cattiness, and the jealousy from others was something I never understood. In high school, my only closest female friend at the time was Dina. She and I were inseparable. We never fought nor did we ever get jealous about what someone had accomplished over the other. We supported one another through thick and thin up until the day she passed away. In college, I met Leanna and we discovered how much we had in common. We became Sistahs. I could talk to her about anything. If one was hurting, or in need of help, support, we were there for one another. Always!! I met a few other ladies along the way in my adult hood that I am very close to today.

After college, I got married and moved to Atlanta in 2003. I didn’t know anybody. I became a home body and didn’t have anyone to talk to. It was difficult because I was going through different levels of post-partum as well. I needed my friends, my Sistahs who could understand what I was going through. This went on for a couple of years until we moved to Florida in 2005 and I met my friend Alisha. I lost touch with a lot of my close friends, but over the years I also gained new friendships. Some stayed, some left. The ladies who remained in my life showed a level of caring that not everyone is willing to give. For the ones I lost touch with, I am thankful for Facebook because Facebook helped reunite us. When you have friends who are your Sistahs, you have no issues picking back up where you left off. It felt as though they never missed any years of your life.

Having Sistahs is a blessing in so many ways. Sistahs are there to pick each other up when they are down and we are only as strong as our weakest link. It is a mind over matter situation, and besides it’s making us stronger and better by challenging our beliefs, our morals, and maturity.

“Sistah-Hood” is about trust. It is also about honesty. We may not always agree, or say hurtful things, but in the end there is something real about each one of us. In a world where everything is superficial and material, you have something real if you have a true Sistah. You have a lifetime friend and a sense of love and support for one another.

Value by women, Sistahs whether biological or unrelated are the people you celebrate good times with, cry through the bad times with, laugh at your flaws with, and the people who praise you.

The Ladies I call my Sistahs are all incredibly different, yet we have been united. We are in this season and many seasons together. We have walked through storms, we have entered dark places but we have not let each other sit in our rooms. We have pushed, cried, and loved each other’s wounds. And together, strengthening our roots, we have healed together. That is what “Sistah-Hood” looks like. Deep feminine community rooted in love.

Everyday I am thankful for the Ladies in my life I can call my Sistahs. They are the key to empowerment, social change and freedom.

After speaking to a few of my Sistahs, this what they had to say about what “Sistah-Hood” means to them:

Cinnamon – “Sistah-Hood I would describe as the epitome of friendship of the highest regard or level of friendship. It’s love like no other, a love between friends who share trials and tribulations as well as triumphant. They fight side by side with and for each other. Sistah Hood, the true definition of I AM MY SISTER’S KEEPER!!”

Adriana – “Sistah-Hood is a meaningful way to be connected on a personal, professional and spiritual way with other women with a common goal: succeed and transcend in life.”

Karla – “Sistah-Hood is a connection and bond between females with a commonality and an unwavering love and loyalty. A deep respect.”

Shay – “Sistah-Hood is a tribe that is dependent upon whenever we need reassurance, uplifting, motivation, support, love, and celebrated.”

Cenie – “Sistah-Hood is a group of females coming together to form a relationship for a common purpose and to uplift each other.”

Mani – “Sistah-Hood to me is being there for your girls and lifting each other’s crowns. Support and love from those who always have your back.”

“A good friend knows all of your best stories. A Sistah has lived them with you.”

Anonymous

“My Sistahs remind me, by their very steadfastness, that truth, beauty and goddess exist in the world, and that no matter what, there are and always will be people loving people, through thick and thin.”

Anonymous

“There is strength in Sistah-Hood.” “Sistah-Hood is not a destination, but a journey.”

Anonymous